The wind was brutal that night, slashing across Panther's face mercilessly as she rode her horse right over Hadrian's Wall and into the long green plains of Haltwhistle. She had spent enough time gathering her powers and living down her notoriety, it was time to take the next step.

The next step she figured was finding her next victim, someone worthy and powerful, someone that could get her a following, at the very least. She knew that the Hybrids wouldn't be waiting for her at a conveniently placed and virtually unprotected institution like last time. No, instead, she was going on a tip off, from a COS insider. She had been told specifically to raid the Haltwhistle station, that there was a file of interest contained there. She figured that it would also be the perfect opportunity to draw attention to herself--to announce her return. She figured she would build up fear and anticipation, within the organization, make them squirm and look suspicious, it would be easier then to take them down.

She'd never been to Bellister Castle before and she was astonished as to how close the castle was to the main town. She was especially surprised that right in front of the castle were pseudo-vintage houses, probably infested with clueless mortals. In all actuality she really didn't understand why they would station a magickal organization in Haltwhistle, mortals or no mortals. It was the smallest, most insignificant, piece of land she'd ever ridden through. It's fields held small bumpy hills, trickling rivers, and short trees. Much of the land that had been grand, was now urbanized.

She mounted off her horse and strode up to the castle's ruined towers, tying her horse to a tree not far off. She tightened the hood of her emerald cloak around her face and peered between the fractured bricks and determined that the castle was pretty insignificant too. It was completely exposed and torn apart, it's walls only half up, windows shattered, dirt and dead grass covering the ground.

"Tricky," she whispered stepping onto the ruins, looking up at her surroundings. She was sure there was some glamor covering up the real entrance, the real castle. Bellister must be a decoy, she thought. Or maybe she'd been misled, she mused momentarily before scoffing. "She, wouldn't dare," she said darkly, her palms lighting up with white sparks.

She crouched down and inspected the floor closely, the castle was built on a hill, a perfect sort of faerie hill. So, she prodded and pressed against the floor until she found what she was looking for, an entrance.

It was an open area that peeked through the broken ground and dipped just enough to make a small bowl shape. She dug at it until she hit a barrier, made out of wood, Elder wood.

She cleared away the excess dirt and sat back grinning. If she was right, with a few drops of blood the hill would open. It was traditional faerie security.

So, with a flick of a knife on her palm, the ground shook and broke apart to a hefty mound of...

a Goblin?

It stumbled onto the ground heavily, it's devilish green face staring up at Panther dangerously.

"What do you want?" it barked it's mouth opening up like a toothy wound.

Panther glared at the thing, keeping herself still, cocking her head just so. Her lips parting sweetly. "I would like it if you let me through."

The Goblin straightened, it's gaunt hands groping for it's sword. "Why would I do that?"

Goblins were know to be remarkable fighters, ideal as guards.

Lazily but charmingly Panther smiled, her sharpened teeth sitting on the top of her bottom lip dangerously. A perfect mixture of menace and terrible beauty. "If you let me pass, I won't kill you," she said reasonably.

The Goblin growled, hunching forward, sword at the ready, sporting a grin. His tight green skin stretching over his bones. Ready to fight, ready to do what he was made for.

Unfortunately, Panther was a whole different sort of creature, one that didn't fit into the natural order of things. A creature with the speed and force of a vampire but the magick and grace of a fae.

"Kill me? You can not-" he said bringing down his sword hard onto Panther who reached out, at lightening speed, to choke the Goblin. Her claw-like fingers dug at his throat, spilling sticky blood. He hadn't expected her to be as quick as she was so he swung again at her face, catching her chin with his pointed nails.

She hissed. "Okay fine, I was going to kill you anyways," she crouched down and pulled him forward, her teeth sharpening into needle-like fangs and gnawed at his throat.

The poor beast didn't stand a chance and stood as evidence that they were not anticipating her return. Through blood smeared lips, she smiled, pleased.

After kicking the body aside, Panther climbed down into the station, surprised to see that the whole place was carved out from the earth. It wasn't dusty or muddy or any of the things one would think an underground station would be, but solid and gleaming, reflecting the orange light from the torches all around, to make a very well lit passageway.

Up ahead Panther could hear a set of heartbeats. Both, beating rapidly, disturbed by their companions long absence. Panther slipped into the shadows, close enough so that they could be sure there was someone there, but not enough to be seen.

"Who's there?" the handsome male witch called out to her.

"It's probably just Fearghas being a bastard," the other witch replied but the tightness in her voice suggested otherwise.

The handsome witch--who couldn't have been older than 19-- took a step forward, squinting through the shadows yanking a torch from the wall.

The light touched her face moments later, washing out her silver eyes with light and making her white teeth gleam despite the drying blood clinging to them. Both witches jumped back, alarmed.

"Who are you?" The female witch asked, raising her sword shakily in front of her.

But Panther wasn't paying attention to her, the handsome witch was staring at her with equal parts fascination and horror. "It's you, isn't it? The Hybrid," he said and added in a whisper-hiss, "Panther."

With an affirmative flash of her smile, Panther started forward.

"No!" the girl witch screamed," why would they-"

Panther snapped both their necks before the poor girl could finish. She drank them dry.

The rest of the way, Panther met no resistance. She casually stepped into the main office and sat at the desk smoothing out her black pin-tucked dress.

She tapped her long nails on the surface of the table, thoughtfully and deliberately. "Hello?" she called out loudly, listening intently for any sign of movement, of life, but no one replied much less came hurtling in with an ax or something else that would have proved inconvenient. Panther relaxed and looked around.

All the furniture looked as if it had grown from the tan brown earth beneath her. None of it could be budged and was quite uncomfortable to rest upon. The walls were embedded with gold-lined mirrors and the floor was covered in a soft moss colored rug. As Panther twirled, she spotted a stack of trunks gloomily abandoned behind the desk. One by one she searched their confines.

By the time she got to the bottom of the last trunk, she was very annoyed. Then, something glinted under them. For a moment Panther thought it had been a trick of the light, the torches reflecting off the smooth walls and mirrors but when when she moved to get up it sparkled at her again.

Her fingers grazed the hard earth, feeling for a disturbance on it's even plane. She dug at the cold spot of gold that her pinky moved over but the earth was too defiant to break apart.

She stood up and brought one seemingly delicate leg smashing down on the ground. The earth crumbled revealing a protruding golden handle. With a few strong pulls the handle flew upwards.

Panther crouched down and picked up a short and wide wooden box, the only thing in the opening. Inside was a folder with a single page in it, that read:

HYBRIDFW91'

Name: CLASSIFIED
Sex: Female
Breed: Fae/Witch
Date of Birth: July 16, 1991
Location: CLASSIFIED*
Parents/Guardians: CLASSIFIED

*Relocation Trial V.2

Panther clutched the folder to her chest and smirked happily.

The inside of the place was a complete disaster, white paint was splattered everywhere, the wallpaper was peeling, and there was debris and trash all over the floor.

At some point, the house might have been quite charming. While the wallpaper was in fact peeling off, it was evident it must have been quite pretty when it was first put up. The ceiling that was now splattered in white paint, was an elegant design with carvings of cherubic angels and blooming roses. It must have been a very expensive house, Leo thought as he walked past the stained blue floral curtains.

"Mr. Sullivan Bain?" he called out as he came into the hallway. "I'm here, on behalf of the Coalition of Species Organization!"

Only the cracking of dry leaves, that had blown in after him, responded.

"Sullivan?" he tried again, "anyone, at all?"

No one seemed to be around but he ventured upstairs anyways, intrigued by the mystery of the ruined home.

Upstairs wasn't as shambled. All the wallpaper had been torn down the walls and painted white instead, the floor was swept of all dust and debris. It was pretty much empty except for a big long white couch and a table with a couple of candles.

Leo walked over to the candles on the table and waved his hand over them, lighting them but it did very little to illuminate the dark parlor. So, when he turned to head back downstairs he was completely surprised to be tackled to the floor.

He let out a string of curses as he fumbled on the ground for dominance but the surprise attacker was too strong.

After another minute of struggle, he subsided, realizing that he wasn't in any real danger. He was definitely being pinned to the floor by the shoulders but he wasn't being hurt. It was now that he acknowledged two wide eyes staring down at him shadowed by the darkness and a strand of white-blond hair.

"Who are you?" the eyes asked in a surprisingly opulent English accent.

If this is what they meant by a bit hostile'? Leo would hate to see what they meant by 'extremely violent'. "Are you Sullivan Bain?" he asked and the surprise attacker flinched as if he'd shouted at him.

That was when Leo noticed, a flash of white poking past Sullivan's lip. A fang. At a staggering speed Leo punched in Sullivan's elbow, took out the dagger in his boot, and flipped himself on top.

"Stay still or I'll rip your head off," Leo screamed, the vampire merely flinched again, as Leo pressed the dagger against his throat. "I'll be the one asking the questions from now on. Who are you?"

"Sullivan Bain," the vampire answered shortly.

Leo blinked down at him, utterly confused. The COS couldn't possible believe that he was going to work with a vampire. "Do you know anything about HybridFW91'?"

Sullivan narrowed his eyes. "No," he replied.

"I'm going to let you get up, make one faulty move, and you're gone," said Leo lifting himself off the floor and backing up towards the big white couch he'd seen on his way in.

Sullivan followed suit, never breaking eye contact, looking at Leo like he was a particularly troublesome math equation.

Leo wondered what he should do and where he should begin.

"I'm a solider from the COS and I've been sent here to retrieve you," Leo started slowly guiding Sullivan to the couch with his dagger. The vampire sat down. "If you know what's good for you, you'll come with me...peacefully."

Sullivan followed Leo's dagger which was now pointing out the small window behind them and look out of it anxiously. He shook his bright head. "No," he said firmly, "I can't."

Leo bent down and grabbed Sullivan by the collar pulling their faces close. "I don't think you understand, if you do not go with me, I will make you," he said in a low voice then added, "or I'll kill you, it's up to you."

"I chose death! Better death than the pain that awaits me out there," Sullivan hissed back unafraid of the dagger poking at his neck.

That's when Leo noticed something. He tipped Sullivan's head back with the end of his dagger and pulled away the hair obstructing his face. Sullivan's unsettling sapphire blue eyes, stared up at him, too deep and clear to be vampire eyes.

"Where is your clan, vampire?"

Sullivan's upper lip twitched. "I have no...clan," he said letting Leo turn his head towards the window.

It didn't make sense, Leo thought backing away from Sullivan. Leo turned away and walked to the window.

"What's the COS?" Sullivan asked quietly his face shrouded by Leo's shadow.

Leo struggled between telling him or putting the dagger through his neck since it was growing heavy in his hand. "It's an organization that keeps our existence hidden from mortals," he permitted dully.

Sullivan merely nodded.

After a moment of silence, Leo remembered that he had something important in his back pocket and he went to grasp it so abruptly that Sullivan jumped in surprise.

"This is for-" said Leo and found that Sullivan was already standing in front of him before he could finish. "It's for you."

Sullivan yanked the letter from Leo's hands and read.

As Leo waited he surveyed Sullivan carefully, for the first time that night. He was pale and tall--at least 6'0--and had a unconscious gracefulness to his build that lead to delicate facial features that were washed out by his vivid sapphire eyes. Leo could tell he hadn't had blood in a long time because there were no visible veins anywhere on his skin, although he couldn't be certain because it was dark. He wondered if he could kill him if he needed to. He found that he didn't want to.

"What does it say?" he asked.

Sullivan lowered the letter by this thigh. "It says that they can help me with my 'problem'," he said softly almost whispering.

"Great. Let's go then."

Sullivan tensed all over and once again he looked out the window anxiously. "I think they underestimate my problem," he said averting his gaze.

Leo glanced at him questioningly, arms coming to cross over his chest.

"I have this ability," Sullivan started to explain carefully, "that allows me to feel what other people are feeling. I can do it so well that it extends for more or less 100 yards. The pain is immeasurable, having more than one person, sometimes hundreds of people, inside your head."

The two boys were now facing each other. Sullivan with a letter in hand and Leo with a dagger.

Sullivan looked down at Leo's ready hand and smirked. "You really think you could kill me?"

"In a second," Leo replied unthinkingly.

Sullivan took one step closer and instantly there was a dagger at his throat. "Go on then, you'd be doing me a favorable."

Firmly but with less nerve than he had at the beginning of their encounter Leo said, "I don't care about your problem, I have an order and I'm going to carry it out," he pocketed the dagger.

"You aren't as cold-hearted as you like to think, Leo. I can assure you," said Sullivan his smirk turning into a startling fang-less, almost amiable smile, "Tell me something, and don't lie because I can tell, can this...establishment really help me?"

Leo took a moment to ponder the question and the comment not quite knowing what the truth was himself. "They do great things, I don't know exactly what they can do for you but I'm sure it'll be...great."

Sullivan searched Leo's face then nodded satisfied. "Fine, I'll go," he finally agreed but there was a fearful strain in his voice.

~

After a fervent struggle with the horses--Leo's horse refused to be within 10 feet of Sullivan for about 20 minutes until Leo calmed it--they were finally on their way. Until-

Sullivan slid off his horse onto the ground, with a surprised grunt, as if he'd been shot.

Leo had no idea what to do or say, so after making sure the horses weren't going to gallop off without them, he crouched down next to Sullivan's cowering figure. He grabbed Sullivan's shoulder and dragged him to his feet. He was heavy and soon they were on the floor again scrabbling to get up.

"For the love of-" Leo grumbled as Sullivan slipped out of his grasp for the third time. "I don't have time for this Vampire!"

Sullivan was laying on his back, wet grass staining his white shirt, eyes screwed shut and palms against his temples.

Leo leaned forward and grabbed Sullivan by the dollar pulling him up so that they were face to face. "Listen to me! Do you hear me?" Leo yelled, right in Sullivan's face. Still, he was unresponsive. "You have to listen to me! This isn't going to kill you, just push past it," he went on then said in his lowest voice, "look at me!"

Sullivan's eyes shot open, so quickly, that Leo nearly stumbled back in surprise.

They stared at each other unable to say anything. Leo stood up and mounted his horse waiting expectantly for Sullivan to do the same.

Sullivan was still on the floor, being careful not to break his focus. The people were still battling inside him competing for dominance but all he could really feel was his own fear and Leo's indignity.

As he slowly got back up on his horse, he wanted to tell Leo that he had been kind to him and that he appreciated it. He wanted to tell him that, he could have just left him there, in pain, but he didn't. Somehow, Sullivan felt that this would make things worse, so, he remained silent as they started riding again.

I've stopped trying to play catch up with this thing. I'm just going to post when I feel the urge to because otherwise I just get too lazy to.
So, these past three days, I've been laying around trying to write as much as possible stopping only to eat, sleep, read and watch films.

So, I thought I'd share the books and film part.

Mary and Max: Was absolutely charming and funny while also being heart-wrenching and painfully honest. I've had my fair share of problems with mental disorders in my life and the film portrays them with such sweetness that even though the characters are far from perfect you can't help but love them.
The Princess and The Frog: I just felt compelled to watch it since it's been forever since I watched a Disney princess movie. It was surprisingly funny and entertaining. It's good to know that Disney's still got in, in terms of movie-making.
Heavenly Creatures: This was my first time watching this film, unbelievably enough. It's totally my cup of tea as far as movies go. Beautiful and thought-provoking while being disturbing and very stylish all at once. Peter Jackson absolutely perfects the melding of reality and fantasy with this movie and Kate Winslet made me fall completely and totally in love with her, which is why this morning I woke up and watched...
Sense and Sensibility: It's the only Jane Austen book I've ever read and the film has been on my list for very long. I'd actually seen it many many years before as a child, before I knew what I was watching and could only indulge in the beautiful dresses and distinguished accents. I actually found it rather engrossing. At first it was slow, like the book was, but towards the end even though I knew how it was going to end I couldn't help but feeling restless and excited.

BOOKS

Currently on my "to-read" shelf...

Most recently read books...
                                

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice: The film adaptation to this book was the very fist vampire film I ever watched in my life. It is the reason I stand by my love of vampires even at time when they've seemed to have lost all of their merit. I finally managed to get my hands on the book and I was not disappointed in the slightest. The imagery and beauty of this book is so impressive and surprising, considering it's a book about scary scary vampires. All of the characters were enthralling and interesting which is hard to do when you have so many characters to deal with. It was also chock-full of homo-erotic subtext and just a really sexy sensual story. I can't wait to read the rest of the series (which I've already bought).
Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater: A friend of mine has been badgering me (not really badgering just kindly bringing it up a lot) to read this book for soooo long. I finally hunted it down at the library and later found at a discount book store for 5 dollars and bought it. I've only just finished it today so I'm still a little incoherent about it. All I know is that it was beautiful and terribly romantic and I was crying at the end and it will definitely go down as one of my favorite love stories.

I don't know what is making my heart ache so profusely tonight. I have this dark dread sitting heavily in my stomach, making my bones creak, and muscles ache. Uncertainty again. I am overcome with it, with the unknown and the fact that I am just the embodiment of fear and that is all I've ever be. I want to cry. I hug her and I want to cry. I feel disconnected again.

I suppose I just need to go write some. Need to let out my unhappiness on something that might save me from it, soon, hopefully, soon.

A kiss is all I need I suppose. That's what I keep thinking about. Every time I sadly drop my head on my pillow, blinking up into my too bright lamp; I think about a kiss, or a touch of reassurance, or the voice of someone who thrills me.

Someone who makes me want to be better, someone who likes me regardless of whether I become better, someone who is beautiful to my eyes, and someone who sees the beauty in me. Someone, who can hold me tight, but not so much that I can't breathe. That doesn't need every mysterious thing I do explained, who gets the way I work, who doesn't pressure me or hurry me but rather encourages and supports.

Someone who lives their own life and lets me live mine while still managing to living simultaneously side by side. Someone sincere, and sweet, and smart, but who's not intimidating. Someone who is vulnerable and unafraid of emotions. Someone who takes away this hunger and need for innocent intimacy.

Lots has happened since my last post, so, I'm going to make multiple posts tonight, if I'm up to it. If not, then I'll finish them up tomorrow. First and most importantly, I've finally OFFICIALLY graduated. Technically of course, I've been graduated since February but I've had the ceremony and all that recently.

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